literature

I'm Not drunk, I'm Just Tipsy

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Chaosfive-55's avatar
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Literature Text

She's dancing on the table,
Swinging from the chandelier--
I can't believe she'd do all this
After drinking just one beer!
"Stephie! Behave yourself," I hiss,
But all she says is this:

"I'm not drunk, I'm just tipsy--
Looshen up an' have some FUN!
It's only the shank of the evening--
Waitress, bring another one!"

Steph's usually quite reserved--
A shy and blushing lass...
But after two Shirley Temples,
She's really full of sass!
"Stephanie, you have had enough;
They're going to throw us out!"
But as she hops up on the bar
We all can hear her shout:

"I'm not drunk, I'm just tipsy--

LADIES AN' GEN'L'MEN, ATTENTION PLEASE!

Step right on up and start bidding
For my sexy black panties!"

Now the whole damn room is cheering
As she does an Irish jig,
Pausing every now and then
To take another swig
Of her third Bloody Mary
With the peppy-snappy sauce...
"Last time we come here," I groan,
Dragging her out the door;
She gives me a bleary pout and sighs,
"You're no fun anymore!"

"I'm not drunk, I'm just tipsy--
Don't judge me, banana-nose!
Just watch--I'll balance two thin dimes
On top of my big toes!"

Written with love for :iconkillerchic777:, at the instigation of her sneaky little sister :iconpuraggelos:!!
I must point out that the only true part about the poem is the quote in the title, which is Pookie's catch-phrase whenever she's had a few!:lol:
...she also told me to set the record straight: She drinks Whiskey, not Shirley Temples!!!;P
© 2011 - 2024 Chaosfive-55
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Yesterdays-Paper's avatar
Atta girl, Stephanie!Cheers fella (party)