This is the true story of Luther Weems,
A shy and troubled man, afflicted
With paranoid schizophrenia,
He was also an artist quite gifted;
The doctors at the asylum agreed
To let him outside the grounds
And paint glorious landscapes
of the countryside around...
He wished to paint a night-scene
Called "Full Moon O'er The Valley"--
But grim Fate came for Luther Weems
As he wielded his brush that night;
A shaggy gray shape charged at him
Whilst his shrink ran off in fright!
Imagine the dread of a normal man
At the sight of a slavering werewolf:
To a man prey to hallucinations of dread
Such an encounter might strike him dead
Before ever a fang or a claw could strike--
But Luther, with a yell, grabbed his easel
And fought, though he screamed in terror at the fiend;
The monster was cheated of murder, though he bit
The flailing madman in the knee!
So Luther returned, much perturbed, to his cell,
Where his leg healed with uncanny speed...
But the following night, as the moon rose once more,
Luther howled with bestial need!
The two-foot thick door of his stout padded cell
Was smashed into splintery bits,
And a great shaggy insanely grinning Werewolf
Stalked the halls--the patients all had fits!
But Luther the lycanthrope didn't hurt a soul--
He ran outside, leapt o'er the wall
And went bounding around, drooling and having a ball!
Into the village Wolfy Luther did run--
His appearance triggered quite a panic;
But he was as scared as the rest, the poor soul,
Which explains his behavior so manic!
Luther entered a house where dinner was served,
A feast of roast duck and fried chicken!
He devoured it all (the family hid in the attic)
And curled up to sleep in the kitchen!
The poor family heard snoring; "I'll go take a look,"
Said the bravest child, nine-year-old Gretchen--
Her parents had fainted, so downstairs she crept,
And gasped as she looked in the kitchen!
"Mummy! Daddy! It's only a big shaggy dog!
May we keep him?" called Gretchen, "He's sweet!"
Her parents turned pale at the sight of their girl
Holding the monster's great paw;
Luther grinned with his mouth full of hideous fangs:
"Eek!-Okay, dear!" squeaked Gretchen's Pa!